I'm sick of b2eveolutions bollocky code. No matter what I do I can't get the commenting system to work properly so people can see that their comment has been posted. I think I'll switch to Wordpress.

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Somehow I'm going to have to pull words out of my head to describe how I felt about seeing The Mars Volta live for the first time. My disclaimer is that I don't think I'll ever be able to sum it up, and you probably don't know what I mean unless you have seen your most favourite band live. I feel like I've been inducted into a VIP club.

Before I went I sort of knew what to expect, having spoken to several people at length about their own Volta experiences. However, that can never quite prepare you. I know I expected to love it and I know I expected to be blown away. Both of which happened, even more so than I had imagined.

To skim the boring stuff: Lining up was fine, I was about 16th there, ended up chatting to three nice people from Palmeston North, one guy I lent my jacket to because he was cold and only had on a t-shirt. I think his name was Matthew. He was very shy and thankful (and a bit cute). I ended up standing next to them in the show.
I nearly got my left armed ripped off by pushy people as I made my way from the foyer to the arena. It's one of the things I dislike about men: pushiness at concerts. Go die, or something.

I was standing to the left of the stage, in front of the lovely Adrian (who is charming to watch, I must say). We waited for about 45 mins, listening to an interesting playlist of what sounded like 60's music in various foreign languages (also English). I thought it was cool, others did not...
Then, as per usual, the lights went down and they were "introduced" by the theme from A Fistful of Dollars. Tears immediately pricked the back of my eyes and a huge lump swelled in my throat. The waterfall began and I stood quietly, biting my upper lip and letting them fall down my cheeks as I watched the guys come on stage (I am now crying as I relive these memories. I know, I'm a dork, but whatever). I was surprisingly quiet and I think I was just so struck and shocked to finally be in that moment. To be experiencing them all in front of me, to hear and see in front of me what I have listened to in my bedroom on repeat for a year and half. I really just could not believe it.

Read full text of The kiosk in my temporal lobe is shaped like Rosalynn Carter...

I got woken up this morning at three by Lola. She decided it would be fabulous to purr very loudly and sit on my head. Fortunately I didn't start dreaming about a chainsaw wielding serial killer, but I was still rather annoyed at having been woken from such a deep sleep. She just wanted lots of loves though, so she got cuddles and scratches until she buggered off to my feet. But, of course, I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up at 4 and I've been here ever since.

Today my parents (and the animals) and I are driving to Auckland. Sadly our family has suffered a loss with the death of my dad's cousin. She had cancer and passed away in the wee hours of Thursday morning. She was a fantastic woman and everyone loved her. Cancer is such an evil thing and even when you know someone's life is likely to be lost to it, one can never fully prepare themselves for the reality of it. I hope she's at peace now and no longer in any pain. We will miss her dearly in this life, but it's only until we meet again.

Her funeral is actually in Rotorua but, long story short, I had to go up to Auckland anyway for The Mars Volta concert (OMFG, I finally get to see them!!!!!!) and it's impossible to get the animals into boarding kennels at such short notice. So we are going up until next Saturday and doing a day trip to Rotorua on Tuesday.

It's not the best of circumstances, but I also have something I have waited ages for to look forward to. Seeing The Mars Volta has been on my List of Things I Must Do Soon Or I Will Explode since I came across their music a year and half ago. Now I get to do that! So of course I am bursting with excitement for it and I'm really glad I have something awesome to look forward to next week.

I will see you when I get back!

Christine left me a comment voting on 'Jazz' being the new cat's name, but I forgot to blog that I decided to call her Lola some weeks ago now. So, Lola it is! She suits it very well, I think.

At the moment I am waiting for July, which is when my course starts. I'm really looking forward to doing something more productive towards my future than what I have been in the past year. I'm actually excited about studying, which is surprising considering my track history! Everything should go quite well, although I'm sure it will be challenging (which is a good thing).

In the meantime I have many creative projects in various forms of progress. I've been knitting some things, embroidered a little bird and just started a gift for a friend of mine. There are many more that I want to do, but I should finish some before I start anymore! Hehe.

I've been feeling really blase about my site. I did renew my hosting and domain for another year, but I feel like I've really lost drive for it after an unfortunate incident I brought on myself. I'm sure many of you will know what I am talking about. I'm so mortified and I really don't know what got into me at all, and because I realise how utterly stupid I was, I am now questioning whether or not I can comfortably participate in some of the online activities I do that are related to my site. I just feel so awful! Perhaps after awhile it wont bother me as much, but for now I am quite unsure what I want to do.

Disclaimer: No, I don't smoke. It's revolting. The title is random. Also, young teenagers who generally have very bad taste in music, please check out Bob Dylan. Don't be stupid and stop cutting yourselves.

The last part was a joke...

Anyway.

My lack of updates is due to my personal life being all over the place. I am, and most likely will be until the end of the year, living between two cities once again. A few weeks here, a few there. It's tiring and without stability which means I get a bit out of touch with everything here; I neglect it. Not that I really have had much of anything to say on here anyway, seeing as how all and sundry can read it.

The other thing in my personal life that's been difficult is my last relationship. It's over now, which is a very good thing, I've come to realise, but it was not without considerable amounts of pain. I'm doing quite well now, which surprises me to some extent. The realisation I'm much stronger than I thought has been a good one. Still disappointing things worked out the way they did; I cared for him very much and had hoped for a future for us, but that was not meant to be. I see now I'm much better on my own at the moment. I need to focus on my own life and what I need to do for myself, without a partner's problems overtaking not only his own life, but mine, too. It's not healthy when that happens. Of course you must be there for each other, however it's not ok for them to constantly bring you down (in many ways, but mostly mood).

I'm still sad to a degree, but for the most part I now feel free and am actually happy, for the first time in months. I was losing myself and what I wanted. So, no more guys for a long time! I have too much to do for myself before I can share any of it with someone else. And next I will have a checklist they'll have to measure up to. (I'm serious about that!)

I did come out of that relationship with a new addition to my family, however. A very gray, very friendly, fuzzy feline baby! Ok, so not baby anymore, but it's such a small cat you do wonder. I say 'it' because I actually think it might be a girl, not a boy, which is what the previous owners kept referring to it as. I have yet to take her to the vet as I am slightly short of funds (I love how it costs so much to see the vet), but once I can get her there we will have confirmation of gender. Hooray!
The previous owners of said kitty-cat named it 'Gray Cat'. They said I couldn't change it's name, but they are now living in Australia, and if she is, in fact, a girl, how can I keep it at that? Seriously? My other cat is called Molly, for Christ's sake. 'Gray Cat' doesn't go with Molly! So, if I do change her name, it'll be Something Gray Cat Last Name.
To be honest, I hardly ever call my cats by their actual names anyway. They have a thousand nicknames that I tend to use more often.
We'll just have to see, I guess. I don't want to go back on what I said to the previous owners (in keeping the name the same), but I really am not feeling her current name. She's too sweet and playful and lovely to be 'Gray Cat'.

For the record, I've been thinking either Jasmine (Jazz and Jazzy for short) or Bella for the new name. What do you think? Have any suggestions? Please, nothing like Muffin or a candy bar name. I like my animals to have human names, ok. It's my thing.

As some of you may have noticed, when you try to post a comment on one of my posts, it takes you to the 404 error page. This is some issue to so with b2evolution that I'm trying to figure out, but it's taking awhile.

To let you know, I do receive the comments you leave, and they do get posted. To see for yourself, hit 'back' and refresh the page. Your comment should be there.

Tomorrow I'm leaving town for about five days. Going to stay with The Boy's family, all of whom (well, this part of his family, anyway) I've not met yet. I'm looking forward to it and Hastings is a place I've only been to once before, and that was when my mother was critically ill in the hospital there. Will be nice to go back in better circumstances.

I did make cupcakes, by the way, and they were awesome. Should have taken some photos! Silly me.